secrets
by nlrs
Summary: A secret and a promise he keep for her as well as his feeling that he hides so well, as does she for they both know how to hide.
1. Chapter 1

**I own nothing, I make no money from this. **

**Criminal Minds.**

Having heard enough of their grumbling and complaining Hotch took a deep breath before he spoke to his team.

" Garcia asked for this day off four months ago. Don't worry I already called her she said that she would be tonight. Now everyone go back to what you were doing." Hotch tells them as he rubs his temples.

When he got the call in his hotel room a little past nine that she had arrived pulling two suitcases as well as her ever present purse. The desk sergeant explained that after she showed them her credentials she asked to be pointed to the room that the team was using. After being shown the way she was asked if she needed anything. The only reply was a nice cup of hot chocolate would be wonderful as it was raining and she was feeling chilly.

The sergeant laughed when he told Hotch what he saw when he came back to the room. She had put her hair up into a bun held in place with pens and pencils, she had shed her shoes and her skirt pockets had computer wires hanging out of them. What surprised him the most was the four laptops that she had up and running each one of them doing something but he could not make heads or tail out of it.

He opened the door to the office an hour later, he smiled then he sighed at what is was seeing, all the laptops were off and there was a stack of folders laying on the table labeled for each agent. Then he looked at her she was wearing FBI sweats top and bottoms with a sweater draped over her shoulders he wondered how she could sleep in two of the office chairs placed against the wall. Until he remembered that she told him that she had to learn to sleep lightly and everywhere when she was underground. A skill that she still found useful only now a days she slept a little deeper.

With care he walked closer and touched her hand. It only took a touch and his voice calling her name for her to awaken. She smiled at him before she spoke.

"You called, I came, my Captain."

"Why are you sleeping here?"

"No room at he Inn, JJ and Emily share, Reid and Morgan share, Rossi and you don't share being the bosses has its privileges."

It only takes one look and an offered hand to help her stand up. In no time at all they are in his hotel room.

"It's a queen size bed Penelope we will share." He takes the files that he was working on off of the bed and disappears into the bathroom taking his go bag with him giving her the privacy she need to change into her pajamas when he come out of the bathroom ten minutes later he finds her on the side furthest from the door on her back with her eyes closed. The blankets folded just at her breast line he can see a pajama top with small flowers scattered on it.

He knows that she is not sleeping just from her breathing pattern. He climbs into bed and lays quietly on his back staring at the ceiling with only the small light from the bathroom breaking the darkness in the room.

"How was it?" He asked softly.

"Nice, it was very nice, she was the valedictorian. She is going Cal-tech next year."

"I know."

"How?"

"When you told me why it was so important that you have this day off I did a little snooping of my own."

"You don't play fair."

"I'm the boss remember? "

"I remember all to well thank you."

"Penelope how did you? " He started to say.

"It was a closed adoption, a sealed file I wanted it that way. I still do in fact."

"But you found it and did your thing I take it?"

"Of course, I had to make sure that she was well taken care of."

"And is she?"

"They are the perfect parents they love her and gave her a good home a better home than I could have ever given her."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be I got to hold her when she was born and just before I gave her away I kissed her and held her one last time. Some things aren't meant to be."

"Penelope you're still young enough to have children you and Kevin."

"Not going to happen Kevin asked me to marry him and move away to a farm. I told him no. That was three months ago he is seeing someone else now I hope he finds the happiness that he is looking for."

"What about your happiness?" He asks as he turns and looks at her he can see the trail of tears staining her face.

"I have found peace in my solitude, I can't hurt anyone and no one can hurt me. But I do thank you for keeping me secret." she whispers.

"I saw her picture you know, she is beautiful, just like her mother, I'll keep your secret Penelope always. But I'll never give up hope that you won't find someone to spend your life with, trust me I know how lonely an empty life, heart and bed is." he tells her as he gently takes her into his arm and holds her as she cries for all that she has lost.

"You're a guy Aaron, the best in fact. And I do love you even if you are my boss."

"Go to sleep Garcia we have work to do in the morning."

"Yes sir, thank you sir."

Stroking her hair and holding her in his arms he wishes he could tell her he loves her too, just as easily as she tells him. For he does very much.


	2. Chapter 2

"Isn't Penelope joining us tonight?" JJ asks as Hotch and Morgan pass out the drinks.

"She said that she had some things that she needed to do, but that she would try." Rossi answered as he took his drink from Aaron.

"This is nice we haven't been out like this in ages." Emily says as she nudges JJ to look at Reid smoothing out his shirt as a very pretty girl walks closer and smiles at him.

Letting go together is something that they rarely do but the last few cases were very difficult and they needed this in order to reconnect with each other.

Hearing a boisterous group of people on the other side of the bar shout out. "To the Bride and Groom." as a toast. The profilers joined in with everyone else in the bar and raised their glasses to toast the happy couple as well.

"I wonder who got married? I recognize some of the people over there from our building don't you Hotch?" Reid asks.

The profiles turned around in time to see a pretty but nerdy looking woman with light brown hair and blue eyes stand and hush the group. "We want to thank you very much for celebrating with us. Don't we honey-bunny?" She says as tugs the arm of the man next to her to stand with her.

"That's Lynch he's the groom?" Morgan spit out harshly.

"They stopped seeing each other seven months ago. She told me four months ago." Hotch explained softly before anyone could ask any questions. "And before you ask that's all she told me."

"I bet that's why she didn't show up tonight." JJ guessed.

"No if I know my Kitten she has made peace with the break up, no worries there at all.

"I'm not in the mood to be here, anyone want to join me at Steve's place for a burger?"

"I'll go with you Emily we can work off all of the calories tomorrow at the gym." Morgan tells her as he hands her, her coat.

One by one they leave the bar each lost in their own thoughts. Going to try and make some sort of sense about what happened and why she didn't say anything about the break-up.

But he knew for he knew her secret in fact he knows a lot of her secrets. He watched as she said good night to the older man in the doorway of the library. Only when the man had gotten into his car and drove away did she move to her own car. He watched the way she carried herself alert and confident she carried only her keys in one hand and mace in the other over she shoulder her wacky colored tote. Once she was safely in her car with the doors locked did her call her cell. He smiled as he watched her smile as she looked at the caller id before she answered it.

"Dinner at Mom's pancake house. I'll meet you there Penelope."

"It will be my pleasure Aaron."

With fresh steaming cups of coffee in front of them the two people could truly relax for the first time that day.

"Tell me about him?"

"He wants to be able to read to his grandson and he never learned how to read in school. He has dyslexia he faked it and dropped out of high school became a machine operator he can just about fix anything that has a motor."

"So you're teaching him?"

"Sure I found this site on line and it gave tips, I also asked a friend of mine who teaches kids. He is reading at a second grade level he is learning fast. A few more months and he won't need my help at all."

"Why do you do it Penelope, you work eight to ten hours a day like the rest of us. Then you go help and volunteer your time and energy."

"I'm not about to sit home a mope. Besides I like doing it."

"I'd rather you spend time with me." He tells her as he takes her hand into his.

"We do spend time together Aaron, at work and somehow we manage to go out to eat at least once a week. How did you find me this time?"

"I tagged your car, I need to make sure that you're safe."

"All you to do was ask me I would have told you."

"What are you doing for the rest of the night?"

"I got a book from the library I'm going stay home and read it over the weekend."

His profiler instincts switched on from hearing that one simple answer. "What book?"

"Chatterley's Lover, by D. H. Lawrence. I've never read it and it is on my list of books to read."

"You have a list?"

"Sure don't you?"

"No, Tell me Penelope is this book and hiding in your apartment all weekend have anything to do with the fact that Kevin got married today?"

"No and you know that too. And yes I knew that he was getting married today. Remember I've made peace with myself."

"Jack is at his grand-parents house for the week."

She does not say anything she just looks at him as he continues to hold her hand.

" I would like you to come to my place. Penelope I love you, you know that and I know that you love me. We need to talk away from this place and I do have a spare room."

"What if there is no room at the Inn, I mean Jack might have commandeered the room for his toys. Do we get to share again?"

"Yes we can share anytime we want. Sharing with you feels good but in time I do believe that we will both want more." He tells her softly.

"I was hoping you would say that, because since that night I've wanted more from what we have together."

"Why didn't you ever say anything?" he asks her.

"It wasn't my place Aaron you're the boss I would never hurt you or put you in an awkward situation with the suits."

He stands and tosses some bills on the table pulling her to her feet he brings to her car. Kissing her once with a hint of what is to come he tells her to go home to her home.

He follows her not letting her car out of his sight then parks right next to her in the parking lot of her building.

He takes his go-bag in one hand and her hand in the other before he leads them into her building.

He wakes to feel her mass of hair sprayed all over his chest and his hand resting on her bare back. It only takes him a few minutes to realize that he hasn't slept this good in years.

Maybe it is what they both need a new start a new love and hope for the future. He thinks as he looks at her and for the first time in his life feels pure contentment and a sense of belonging. Who would have ever guessed his colored blind tech with a heart of gold would made him feel complete and at peace with his soul as well.


End file.
